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-   -   Ridiculous Job Offers / Demands!! (https://www.dvinfo.net/forum/taking-care-business/99377-ridiculous-job-offers-demands.html)

Robert Martens June 6th, 2006 07:32 AM

Ooh! Ooh! Can I join in? Never thought I'd get to post one of these, but I was just poking around Mandy, thought you'd like this:

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Payment is on a lo/no/deferred basis.
Cinematographer wanted for Summer shoot in and around the NYC . Award-winning film-maker / publicity magnet seeks experienced D.P. (who owns lighting, sound and camera package -- preferably the Vericam or Panasonic HDX 200) to shoot ultra-low budget romantic comedy/ road movie in August.

Opportunity of a lifetime to work on future Sundance entry with critically acclaimed writer / star and his partner who has scripts in development with Castle Rock (Tom Hanks), Sony, and too many TV credits and theater credits too long to list here.

I'm offering a great script, talent, creditability and media profile. Payment is low or deferred. I'm self financing from my salary as a Brooklyn math teacher. If you're hungry to work on great material and can afford to work within my budget, let's team up.

SEEKS LOCATION SCOUT / LOCATIONS for new movie shooting around NYC in August. Locations and services must be donated for free - will be awarded on screen thank you and networking opportunities:

LOCATIONS NEEDED: mom & pop pharmacy; motel in deserted area; motel with pool; 2 small town diners; small town flower shop; bowling ally; restaurant; factory security booth where a guard would stay with cars trying to get through; airport hub, airplane interior - can be faked with seats; exterior car mechanic shop along a rural highway; a farm with farm animals; corporate office with cubicle; western like bar with dance floor i.e. Montana; seminar classroom; any scenic areas within close proximity to NYC that look like rural scenic America i.e. it's a cross country road movie and we are trying to cheat shots while we stay in NY, any private long stretches of roads that look like they are from mid-west or western states; any small town streets that look like mid-west with cobble pavement; anything that looks like downtown L.A.; doctors office.

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I know, I know, he's a teacher; overworked, underpaid, underappreciated, he deserves our respect. But he's a MATH teacher, shouldn't he understand that anyone with a "Vericam" has bills and a camera to take care of? That "opportunity of a lifetime to work on future Sundance entry" thing is great too, I can't get over that. And such a modest list of locations!

Steven Davis June 9th, 2006 01:55 PM

Ok, here's my installment from Craigs List.....



Shoot a commercial for me

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Reply to: marlin108@hotmail.com
Date: 2006-06-09, 1:56PM EDT


Looking for a student willing to work for food(kinda serious)to shoot 3 commercials and edit. My have use of own equipment. Looking for quick turn around. Excellent opportunity to build resume. This will be the best commercial on TV.
Email for interest and more information

Craig Seeman June 13th, 2006 01:43 PM

They're not even asking for you to bring your own toad. Of course toad experience is preferred over frog experience. Heck, handling toads for TV Commercials might be a profitable career. I'm sure toads are less expensive to own and maintain than HDV cameras. Instead of agonizing over such things as 24p, P2, 2/3" SD vs. 1/3" HDV, mics, light kits, you can buy BOTH a toad and a frog and cover your bases.

Next time you see a listing that expects you to walk into a shoot with $5000-$10,000 worth of gear and pays next to nothing, remind them that you can buy a toad, have one provided for you for a TV Commercial, spend less and make more money doing that.

I think geckos might be profitable too.
__________________________________

Looking fro Frog/Toad Handler for Commercial

Reply to: gigs-171132885@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-13, 2:57PM EDT


Looking for an experinced frog/toad (would prefer Toad) handler for a commercial shoot. Could also be someone who has a pet frog/toad or owns one and is comfortable with them. Please send resume/website/pictures to Raffi.

Compensation: Negotiable

K. Forman June 13th, 2006 02:05 PM

Does that include toad lickers too?

Josh Bass June 17th, 2006 01:50 PM

This one seems especially lame, for some reason:

Interns needed for seduction documentary
Reply to: gigs-172523250@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-17, 12:07PM EDT


Seeking interns for a documentary film about a guy seeking to become a pickup artist, learning through master pickup artists in the underground seduction network. Tasks include transcribing and logging taped interviews and shoots. Work is for a trailer to come out in July.

Qualifications: Good typing skills; interest in topic is obviously a plus

Days/Hours: Flexible

Contact Noah at iamapickupartistmovie@gmail.com if interested.

* this is in or around NYC
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: No compensation; an opportunity to make connection to doc film and PUA network

Josh Bass June 18th, 2006 03:00 AM

And another. This kicks ass:

"looking for crew
Reply to: gigs-172705583@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-18, 12:02AM EDT


I have an ok idea for a film. I need a committed dp/producer/sound guy (hopefully someone who can do all of these things) for the remainder of the summer. You must be a professional. You must also have a reliable car because there will be a lot of traveling. I will pay ALL the tolls. Also, my uncle has agreed to make you business cards.

good luck!

ps—Those who are willing to rent a car will also be considered.

* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: tolls

"

Sheldon Blais June 22nd, 2006 09:22 AM

Directors

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Reply to: gigs-1@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-21, 4:24PM EDT


Comedian & writer looking to film comedy pilot. There's no budget so it's strictly guerrilla style. Need director/producer who knows what they're doing preferably with much of their own equipment. (ideally HD)

Obviously no pay, but we have a few industry contacts, so you'll build your reel, have a few laughs and maybe we'll get a lucky break.

Steven Davis June 22nd, 2006 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldon Blais
...strictly guerrilla style.


Am I the only one that thought we had to show up in monkey suits?

Jerry Porter June 26th, 2006 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steven Davis
Am I the only one that thought we had to show up in monkey suits?

And you WILL NOT be reimbursed for the rental of said monkey suit!! LOL

Craig Seeman June 27th, 2006 04:47 PM

$400 for 28 hours and must have sound package too!
Yes, I'm sending him a reply.


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DV CAMERAMAN WITH FULL EQUIPT PACKAGE FOR FITNESS VIDEO

Reply to: gigs-176111376@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-06-27, 5:20PM EDT


SHOOTING FITNESS VIDEO IN A PARK IN NYC ON JULY 7 AND 8. MUST HAVE PRO PACKAGE AND BE WILLING TO WORK FAST. 2 14 HR DAYS. WE KEEP MASTER. MUST HAVE SOUND PACKAGE AS WELL.
I AM THE DIRECTOR AND WILL BE OUT OF TOWN UNTIL JULY 5, I WILL RESPOND TO ALL ENTRIES ON JULY THE FIFTH.

this is in or around NYC
no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $400 for 2 14 hr days.

Josh Bass June 27th, 2006 04:55 PM

Yeah, i thought about posting that one, but at least it was paid.

Sheldon Blais July 11th, 2006 06:07 AM

From CL:

I am looking for a camera operator with his or her own Panasonic DVX100A or B or similar Canon XL for concert shoot at the Hampton Ballroom and Casino on July 27th. This is for a local Band "Bionic" who will be playing with 90's band Candlebox. This is for promotional material that will be featured on Bionic's new DVD that will be passed soon after this is edited and shown around to very high profile clients and record companies. Any participation in this project would a good step in any camera man's career and the experience should quite fun. I have 2 shooters for this event (which would include press passes) and an editor but am in need of 1 more shooter. 1 DVX100B and 1 Sony Handycam is being used so far but need someone who can bring along a camera similar to my DVX to match the shooting look. Anyone interested please respond ASAP. Thanks!

Compensation: No Pay but will provide transportation to and from location and final copy of concert dvd.

Josh Bass July 11th, 2006 08:12 AM

Goes a long way towards showing why Candlebox had problems with management. . .

Greg Boston July 11th, 2006 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldon Blais
Compensation: No Pay but will provide transportation to and from location and final copy of concert dvd.

I should respond. Roundtrip air fare from Dallas to Boston shouldn't cost them that much. (grin)

-gb-

Josh Bass July 11th, 2006 09:49 AM

Also, be sure to tell them that they've "left you far behy-yind". Basically, try to work in Candlebox lyrics to convey that they're screwing you.


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