Ridiculous Job Offers / Demands!!

Keith Loh · April 13th, 2006, 11:27 AM

Heh this is great. The only thing missing is "dog walker".

http://vancouver.craigslist.org/tfr/150633759.html

Quote:

Vancouver businessman seeks a personal assistant to help manage his current business portfolio including a well known and successful Vancouver commercial photography studio and 4 apartment buildings in the Lower Mainland.

The successful applicant will serve as lead or assistant photographer on various studio and location photo shoots and will manage all aspects of the day-to-day operations of a commercial photographic studio including outsourcing new accounts, account management, organizing and outsourcing services, file management, website management, answering phone calls, client liaison, and delivery.

The applicant will also oversee the property Management Company, involving 4 apartment buildings. This includes the supervising the building managers and general management of the office, including accounts payable, accounts receivable, evaluating operations, cleanliness and vacancy rates of the buildings, research and outsource estimates for contracts and supplies, and computer data entry.

Josh Bass · April 13th, 2006, 12:03 PM

Is it even physically possible for one person to do all that? The photography thing alone would probably obliterate all your time, wouldn't it?

Josh Bass · April 14th, 2006, 06:27 PM

Here ya go. I've worked for this person/company in the past, too:

The Independent Movie Show is seeking a female and a male field reporter to do on-camera interviews with local and national film industry icons and up-and-coming filmmakers for its television program. Pay is very low, but this will be great for your resume and demo reel. You must be available for one full shoot day every other month and commit to a one year term. First shoot is June 10-11, 2006 with a rehearsal day in Mid-May. Seeking male and female, any ethnicity, 25-40, polished, knows the industry lingo, prior on-camera experience and good communication skills a must. Headshots, demo tale-VHS, DVD or mini-DV and resumes must be mailed NOT EMAILED to:The Independent Movie Show, Dominion Films, P.O. Box 22582, Houston, TX 77227

And another--apparently these guys are looking for a cameraman from the future:

XL-3 Shooter Needed this Sun, Mon, Tues & Wed
Reply to: gigs-151073495@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-04-14, 1:19AM EDT

Need XL-3 Shooter for 2 TV pilots shooting in/around Manhattan this weekend. We're in a bind, as our regular guy's leaving the country & our schedule got pushed back.

Thanks!

* this is in or around NYC
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $250/day

K. Forman · April 14th, 2006, 06:33 PM

What's an XL3?

Josh Bass · April 14th, 2006, 07:01 PM

I don't know. . .ask the time travelers who posted the ad.

Josh Bass · April 19th, 2006, 10:30 PM

I like to imagine this as read by a clunky robot from the 50s. Maybe the giant robot rabbit from Aqua Teen Hunger force:

IN NEED OF CAMERAMEN WITH EQUIPMENTS!!!!!!!!
Reply to: creatorspalacein_mode@yahoo.com
Date: 2006-04-20, 12:02AM EDT

WE need Cameramen with equipmentS FOR OUR UPCOMING MODELS SHOW + POP ROCK AND R&B VIDEOS,THAT WILL LAST FOR 2 MONTHS AND WILL BE REPEATED ANNUALLY,THERE 'S NO PAY BUT WE WILL SIGN A CONTRACT THAT WHEN EVER THE MUSIC VIDEOS IS OUT YOU WILL GET MONEY EVERYTIME IT'S BEING PLAYED ON TV PLUS SALES ,THERE WILL BE 30 MODELS AND 30 SINGERS AND YOU WILL GET MONEY FROM EACH VIDEO FROM THE ARTIST THIS IS FOR LIFE,

AND WE WILL STICK TO YOU AND ALWAYS WORK WITH YOUAND ADVERTISE YOU.

THIS SHOW WILL START FROM THE 23RD OF MAY - 28TH OF JULY 2006 IN VEGAS

PLEASE CONTACT US AT ( difacemode@yahoo.com ) FOR MORE INFO and PLEASE SAY CAMERAMEN!!!!!!!

Matt Champagne · April 19th, 2006, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josh Bass

I like to imagine this as read by a clunky robot from the 50s. Maybe the giant robot rabbit from Aqua Teen Hunger force:

IN NEED OF CAMERAMEN WITH EQUIPMENTS!!!!!!!!
Reply to: creatorspalacein_mode@yahoo.com
Date: 2006-04-20, 12:02AM EDT

WE need Cameramen with equipmentS FOR OUR UPCOMING MODELS SHOW + POP ROCK AND R&B VIDEOS,THAT WILL LAST FOR 2 MONTHS AND WILL BE REPEATED ANNUALLY,THERE 'S NO PAY BUT WE WILL SIGN A CONTRACT THAT WHEN EVER THE MUSIC VIDEOS IS OUT YOU WILL GET MONEY EVERYTIME IT'S BEING PLAYED ON TV PLUS SALES ,THERE WILL BE 30 MODELS AND 30 SINGERS AND YOU WILL GET MONEY FROM EACH VIDEO FROM THE ARTIST THIS IS FOR LIFE,

AND WE WILL STICK TO YOU AND ALWAYS WORK WITH YOUAND ADVERTISE YOU.

THIS SHOW WILL START FROM THE 23RD OF MAY - 28TH OF JULY 2006 IN VEGAS

PLEASE CONTACT US AT ( difacemode@yahoo.com ) FOR MORE INFO and PLEASE SAY CAMERAMEN!!!!!!!

All I have to ask is....how? Are they going to give you a piece of the publishing? That would be the stupidest thing (for them) ever lol.

Josh Bass · April 19th, 2006, 11:02 PM

I don't know. I just found the "written by a seven-year-old" vibe amusing, as well as the shouting.

George Ellis · April 20th, 2006, 03:36 AM

OK, that one is about the most ridiculous one in awhile. 'we need you for 2 months, and your equipment too at no fee'. Maybe it was written by drunken lemurs?

Josh Bass · April 20th, 2006, 03:57 AM

I'll give you drunken, but I still say it was drunken robot rabbits prone to saying "Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday" (and then repeat ad infinitum).

Keith Loh · April 20th, 2006, 08:07 AM

Posted in the Vancouver craigslist. Maybe by one of us?

Quote:

It's appalling to see so many ads expecting people to work for free. Every type of job from P.A. to Producer. Do you think the film indutry is so appealing it's worth working in for free? Be a part time Producers assistant! Get me a coffee, call the airline, p/u my drycleaning. Think it doesn't happen? Think again! There are paying jobs in the film industry. If you're going to be treated like a nothing you may as well be a DGC P.A. and at least get paid while you learn. Don't volunteer for some shcmuck who thinks he's written the worlds greatest script, chances are he's fluid enough(Mommy & Daddy are rich)not to have to work to earn an income. This isn't some rant because I've been wronged. I make a handsome living as an IATSE member in the local industry. I just finished working on an indie and hated seeing how many young people didn't get paid or got treated poorly because they didn't know better and felt it was part of the process. It's not! To all you wanna be film producers, directors or whatever you think you are, shame on you for turning potentially talented future members of the film community away.

http://vancouver.craigslist.org/tfr/152788460.html

K. Forman · April 20th, 2006, 08:29 AM

Keith- There are a whole bunch of postings along those lines on Craigslist down here too. I figured it was Josh...

Josh Bass · April 20th, 2006, 11:45 AM

Hah! You are totally wrong. I've never written back to a post like that. One of you has definitely done that, in my opinion 'cause I found your (his/her) post on here to be the exact same thing posted in response to the ad on the NYC craigslist ad.

K. Forman · April 20th, 2006, 11:47 AM

Keith? You got some 'splaining to do?

Aviv Hallale · April 21st, 2006, 05:32 PM

A rich kid is wanting me to develop his DV film idea, willing to pump money into a totally dead project. Wont accept the fact that I tell him I'm not a good director and I've had no experience in feature production. Sends me a script where the first shot is loaded with effects, the dialogue is dead, the characters suck, spelling mistakes everywhere, not even formatted properly. I ask him to at least format the script and the reply I get is "Too oldschool".

Can't take a hint.

April 13th, 2006, 12:03 PM	#602
Josh Bass Slash Rules! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,472	Is it even physically possible for one person to do all that? The photography thing alone would probably obliterate all your time, wouldn't it? __________________ The Bass' camerawork The Bass on IMDB

April 14th, 2006, 06:27 PM	#603
Josh Bass Slash Rules! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,472	Here ya go. I've worked for this person/company in the past, too: The Independent Movie Show is seeking a female and a male field reporter to do on-camera interviews with local and national film industry icons and up-and-coming filmmakers for its television program. Pay is very low, but this will be great for your resume and demo reel. You must be available for one full shoot day every other month and commit to a one year term. First shoot is June 10-11, 2006 with a rehearsal day in Mid-May. Seeking male and female, any ethnicity, 25-40, polished, knows the industry lingo, prior on-camera experience and good communication skills a must. Headshots, demo tale-VHS, DVD or mini-DV and resumes must be mailed NOT EMAILED to:The Independent Movie Show, Dominion Films, P.O. Box 22582, Houston, TX 77227 And another--apparently these guys are looking for a cameraman from the future: XL-3 Shooter Needed this Sun, Mon, Tues & Wed Reply to: gigs-151073495@craigslist.org Date: 2006-04-14, 1:19AM EDT Need XL-3 Shooter for 2 TV pilots shooting in/around Manhattan this weekend. We're in a bind, as our regular guy's leaving the country & our schedule got pushed back. Thanks! * this is in or around NYC * no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests * Compensation: $250/day __________________ The Bass' camerawork The Bass on IMDB

April 14th, 2006, 06:33 PM	#604
K. Forman Capt. Quirk Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Middle of the woods in Georgia Posts: 3,596	What's an XL3? __________________ www.SmokeWagonLeather.us

April 14th, 2006, 07:01 PM	#605
Josh Bass Slash Rules! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,472	I don't know. . .ask the time travelers who posted the ad. __________________ The Bass' camerawork The Bass on IMDB

April 19th, 2006, 10:30 PM	#606
Josh Bass Slash Rules! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,472	I like to imagine this as read by a clunky robot from the 50s. Maybe the giant robot rabbit from Aqua Teen Hunger force: IN NEED OF CAMERAMEN WITH EQUIPMENTS!!!!!!!! Reply to: creatorspalacein_mode@yahoo.com Date: 2006-04-20, 12:02AM EDT WE need Cameramen with equipmentS FOR OUR UPCOMING MODELS SHOW + POP ROCK AND R&B VIDEOS,THAT WILL LAST FOR 2 MONTHS AND WILL BE REPEATED ANNUALLY,THERE 'S NO PAY BUT WE WILL SIGN A CONTRACT THAT WHEN EVER THE MUSIC VIDEOS IS OUT YOU WILL GET MONEY EVERYTIME IT'S BEING PLAYED ON TV PLUS SALES ,THERE WILL BE 30 MODELS AND 30 SINGERS AND YOU WILL GET MONEY FROM EACH VIDEO FROM THE ARTIST THIS IS FOR LIFE, AND WE WILL STICK TO YOU AND ALWAYS WORK WITH YOUAND ADVERTISE YOU. THIS SHOW WILL START FROM THE 23RD OF MAY - 28TH OF JULY 2006 IN VEGAS PLEASE CONTACT US AT ( difacemode@yahoo.com ) FOR MORE INFO and PLEASE SAY CAMERAMEN!!!!!!! __________________ The Bass' camerawork The Bass on IMDB

April 19th, 2006, 11:02 PM	#608
Josh Bass Slash Rules! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,472	I don't know. I just found the "written by a seven-year-old" vibe amusing, as well as the shouting. __________________ The Bass' camerawork The Bass on IMDB

April 20th, 2006, 03:36 AM	#609
George Ellis Trustee Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Suwanee, GA Posts: 1,241	OK, that one is about the most ridiculous one in awhile. 'we need you for 2 months, and your equipment too at no fee'. Maybe it was written by drunken lemurs?

April 20th, 2006, 03:57 AM	#610
Josh Bass Slash Rules! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,472	I'll give you drunken, but I still say it was drunken robot rabbits prone to saying "Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday" (and then repeat ad infinitum). __________________ The Bass' camerawork The Bass on IMDB

April 20th, 2006, 08:29 AM	#612
K. Forman Capt. Quirk Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Middle of the woods in Georgia Posts: 3,596	Keith- There are a whole bunch of postings along those lines on Craigslist down here too. I figured it was Josh... __________________ www.SmokeWagonLeather.us

April 20th, 2006, 11:45 AM	#613
Josh Bass Slash Rules! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,472	Hah! You are totally wrong. I've never written back to a post like that. One of you has definitely done that, in my opinion 'cause I found your (his/her) post on here to be the exact same thing posted in response to the ad on the NYC craigslist ad. __________________ The Bass' camerawork The Bass on IMDB

April 20th, 2006, 11:47 AM	#614
K. Forman Capt. Quirk Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Middle of the woods in Georgia Posts: 3,596	Keith? You got some 'splaining to do? __________________ www.SmokeWagonLeather.us

April 21st, 2006, 05:32 PM	#615
Aviv Hallale Major Player Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Cape Town, South Africa Posts: 276	A rich kid is wanting me to develop his DV film idea, willing to pump money into a totally dead project. Wont accept the fact that I tell him I'm not a good director and I've had no experience in feature production. Sends me a script where the first shot is loaded with effects, the dialogue is dead, the characters suck, spelling mistakes everywhere, not even formatted properly. I ask him to at least format the script and the reply I get is "Too oldschool". Can't take a hint.