Ridiculous Job Offers / Demands!!

[Keith Loh]

Maybe it's the lingo?

[Sean Marks]

For better or worse, we're in the age of DV and DVD. Every joker that watches a documentary on how "Memento" was made thinks that he/she can rustle up 20 dollars and make a short film on DV. If anyone gets a chance, I recommend buying the book "America - The Book" that "The Daily Show" put out last Christmas. There's a great joke made at the expense of indie filmmakers. It's set up as a diagram of how a political rally is held, with descriptions next to everyone whose involved. Next to the kid whose filming it, it says something like "Usually 23, film student, shoots on digital video because like, you can totally make a whole movie for like, 2000 dollars, and it doesn't look like shit it looks like a real movie, I swear".

On a side note, am I the only one who gets a chuckle out of these wannabe's who promise that their short/feature will be the greatest thing since oral sex, yet their ad typically looks like this....

"12 minute a short movie loocing for crue to work. my moview will be versy tense and psycahozlogical so this zwil look greate 4 ur reel. sry i kant affrd to pay any1. send resumes and reels. seriouz inquiries onlyz. 2. "

[James Emory]

I thought I had seen it all. Now they are casting shooters based on looks. How much do you want to bet that old Joe is one cheap ass son of a bitch!? If so, it's probably because of the retainers paid to his lawyers for all of those suites that have been filed against him. A while back, those pathetic bastards started calling people on the phone trying to sell their porn. They called me several times and I let them have it seriously threating them. What if my 6 year old daughter had answered the phone? They said, we would have asked for an adult. Sick bastards!! Can you believe that sh!t? I would like to punch that son of a bitch square in the mouth!!!!

"We are looking for both guys and girls to train in preparation for Spring Break 2006. Applicants will need to have the ability to operate a Canon video camera and have appeal to the opposite sex. Girls will be shooting for our series "Guys Gone Wild" where young guys around the country do outrageous things to impress girls round the globe. Guys, well you know what GGW is…..we need young attractive guys to take GGW to the next level. If you think you have what it takes to live like a rock star, and live the dream job of a GGW cameraman, enclose a resume and some photos to be reviewed by our casting director."

[James Emory]

Originally Posted by Sean Marks

On a side note, am I the only one who gets a chuckle out of these wannabe's who promise that their short/feature will be the greatest thing since oral sex, yet their ad typically looks like this....

"12 minute a short movie loocing for crue to work. my moview will be versy tense and psycahozlogical so this zwil look greate 4 ur reel. sry i kant affrd to pay any1. send resumes and reels. seriouz inquiries onlyz. 2. "

LMAO!!! Uh that would be a NO! That's what this whole thread is for.

[Josh Bass]

They left this part out

"Compensation - possible statuatory rape/assault charges."

[Fresnel Phan]

Originally Posted by Josh Bass

"Houston's 1st BURLESQUE Troupe, Concrete Rose Cabaret, is looking for a VERY talented videographer to make their promo reel!

We are looking for someone who can video our dancers as they perform each choreographed number and then combine and edit the footage into a cutting edge, eye catching 3 minute reel.

This reel will be seen by top execs at SXSW, The Buzz Fest, Warp Tour, The Winter Music Conference, and will also be showcased in a month long art gallery show!

This is a huge opportunity for you to get your name out there and to be seen by very important people in the industry!

For more info look us up at www.myspace.concreterosecabaret.com b/c our website is currently undergoing a major revamp!

* Job location is Houston, TX
* Compensation: Up to $50 depending on your experience- EXPOSURE
* no -- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* no -- Please, no phone calls about this job!
* no -- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
* no -- Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK."


fifty dollars! AWESOME!

Update I actually sent an email to this person. This is what I wrote:

Wow. A whole $50 dollars?

You do realize it will take maybe $10,000 in equipment to do this shoot
properly right? And a good 10 hours or so of shooting and 20-30 hours of
post production?

And there's also experience. Or maybe that's not important for you guys.

This was their response:

What? Do I know you? Please stop waisting my time and yours writing
ridiculous, belittling emails like that.... You have waaay too much
time on your hands buddy. Just so you know I got over 20 responses to
that one ad, 2 including offers to do reality TV shows and here you are
writing me a dumb email trying to make yourself feel better about your
pathetic life. Good luck b/c your going to need it and don't bother
writing back b/c I will just delete it. Watch out for us on A&E! TaTa


Damn A&E. I should have taken the gig. :)

[Josh Bass]

Hey, fellow Houstonian!

I remember that ad. I thought maybe I posted it. Apparently not.

[James Emory]

Fresnel, at least the Houston area's cheap asses are more creative than our Atlanta cheap asses. Your free jobs seem to be more creative and diverse, they think big. Way to go letting her have it like that. Apparently they haven't read that or other boards to see that there are hundreds of reality shows that are pitched and piloted only to never see the light of day or get immediately cancelled. Apparently she thinks that because someone just mentions it that it is going to happen. Tell her to be sure and send you a copy!

[James Emory]

Originally Posted by Josh Bass

I remember that ad. I thought maybe I posted it. Apparently not.

Josh, it says in big bold type, Originally Posted by Josh Bass. If it makes you feel any better, I originally used your name in my reply instead of Fresnel's because I only saw the bold print and thought you sent that message to those cheap asses. Hahahahahaha!

[James Emory]

I saw this one on the Houston board too and I just had to post it!

"I need help preferable a camera man with experience and professional equipment for which he paid tons of money. Also I will pay you with nothing but some snacks, but hey you can put it in your resume. I will also make you work your ass off but I will give you a BIG thank you at the end so you can feel good for giving away your work. If that wasn’t enough I will recommend you to all my friends by telling them that you work for free. If you are willing to work for more than 12hrs straight I might just give you a soda. As I mentioned before in order to apply for the position I will need to see a demo, your resume, and also a list of the equipment that you own, so I can make a decision on what equipment I want you to bring. Since I am giving you the opportunity to work for me (for free) I expect you to work very hard. Oh yea if you can’t record in HD need no to apply.

Yes!! That is how you sound when you ask for free camera operators. By working for free the value of our work as camera man ends up damaging everybody and you too because when you get ready to make money out of your profession you aren’t going to find anyone to hire you since they can get it for free. And cameras aren’t getting any cheaper."

[Josh Bass]

Oops! Sorry. Missed my credit in that other post. My bad.

[Fresnel Phan]

Hi Josh and James. You guys are the inspiration behind what I did...

My previous Update gives you the response that cabaret had to an email I sent from a dummy account.

Out of curiousity, I actually applied for the job using my company email address, to give it a weight of credibility. As it turns out, no credibility was really needed. Transcript as follows:

Thank you for your interest in videoing for The Houston Vixens. Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. We have been extremely busy with All Star weekend and upcoming photo shoots and bookings. Due to the over whelming response we are going to review all resumes and portfolios before interviewing. At this time we need resumes and portfolios or any former video editing that can be downloaded and e-mailed to us. You can also mail to the adddress below. Please have those items e-mailed/mailed as well as contact info to us by Feb 10 next Friday. We will contact those who will be interviewed by Monday Feb 13.

Mistake: Lydia, instead of using BCC or something like that, decided to just address all of us interested applicants directly. So now I have all of my competition's email. I'm not going to post them but I see plenty of "@aol" accounts.

I half debated whether I should send an email to these people or not. I'm dying of curiousity to be at those interviews (but I didn't send in anything). I'd like to believe that everybody on the list was just yanking the cabaret's chain, but I'm afraid not. I guess there are some people desperate enough to do anything for peanuts and exposure. This is what keeps the freeloaders coming back.

[Josh Bass]

I did a lot of free/underpaid stuff in the first year and a half or so with the camera. Not so much now. Maybe it's people like that.

Back then, though, even though I knew it was for no pay and stuff, I still sorta believed the BS, 'cause I didn't realize that anyone in the world can just say "I'm making a movie/reality show". I felt special. Live and learn.

On the other hand, maybe a lot of these posters are naive fools who don't know how much these services/gear actually cost, normally. Come on, we were all there once.

[Fresnel Phan]

Yeah I agree that new people have to start some where. I did my share of free and low pay stuff too.

What really irks me about this particular job offer is that this client obviously has money and I would daresay large money. They are fully expecting something brilliant and well put together relying solely on the promise of exposure. That fifty bucks is almost gas money (but not at today's prices). Maybe a DV tape or two.

[K. Forman]

Would it be out of line to show up with camera in hand, and charge them $50 a tape? Chances are, they won't have their own...