Keith, I hope this guy, and his foolish cameraman, have their wills in order!

Jay

I would love to follow them, just to catch the results on my cam!

That one had me going until I got to the plastic armor bit.

It ain't ridiculous unless it's legitimate!

Yes...it would be excellent to be the camera guy...who do follows the camera guy who actually takes a job like that. Of course considering the insanity which they intend to produce...perhaps its good to get a good extreme telephoto lens.

This sounds like a show for Sally or Ricki Lake. The next thing you know when he realizes he can't do the rescue thing he'll want to try to slay some dragons with his plastic sword. Maybe the Sci Fi channel would be interested in his idea.

I'm with Chris. . .


I think that's a joke ad.

This is his website, detailing his quest-
http://www.heroicdestinysquad.com/index.html

I laughed my ass off... in a really sad way.

I think his site is a riot. Had a few good out-loud laughs just now while browsing it. Check this out:

http://www.heroicdestinysquad.com/ju...y/ayerhyne.htm

"Who rules the universe? Who is the creator of this reality that we’re in? Is this world just a byproduct of natural forces, or is it created by some sort of intelligent force? The answer is it was in fact created by an intelligent superior being, and that being’s name is Ayer Hyne. Ayer Hyne is a cyborg T-Rex with one real eye and one shiny red electronic eye, and machine guns for arms. He is also the creator of this world and the ruler of all reality."

The rest of that page is pretty interesting. I'm convinced that whoever is behind this was inspired by the brlliant "Ninja -- Real Ultimate Power" site at http://www.realultimatepower.net/. It's bizarreness is astonishing. Your friend here is just a wannabe in comparison.

HEY! My friends may have played D&D, but they are nowhere near as geeky as this guy... who is NOT my friend! hehehe

I just happened to find it in my daily search for work, and thought enough of y'all to share it :)

Proof that nothing good can come from a 13 year old with unfettered access to the internet during a summer school "Build Your Own Website" class.

I just want to know one thing. How does the T-Rex reload those machine guns with no hands and fingers? Another thing that really gets me is that he actually sat down and took the time to write that.

Dude, don't you know? Those are special machine guns that never run out of bullets.

I think your thread has been hijacked, James! Good luck getting it back on track!

Many children's shows and videos are dubbed with tracks like someone counting or spelling, or with sound effects, etc.

Perhaps a normal childrens program...but one that is designed to teach children musical notation??? I guess I can see a way that would be done (audio dubbed with animation graphics, cut to silent footage of kids). But it still struck me funny to shoot an audio oriented program using silent 16mm.

The heading said it was for a network show. I have done a few and never heard of anyone so demading or condescending.

This definitely falls under the demanding category. It sounds more like a homework assignment. If you don't follow the directions do they send you home with a note to your mother?

"I'm looking to hire part-time PAs for the next few weeks. The ideal PA will be able to have/do the following:
Have own reliable car and good driving record
Have own cell phone
Have an excellent attitude
Work really long hours and keep that excellent attitude
Sense of humor
Team player
Lift at least 25lbs
Have prior set and office experience
Knowledge of the Xxxxxxx areas
Can read a map
Hungry to work in the entertainment biz
FOLLOW DIRECTIONS!!!!

***
If this is you then FOLLOW THESE DIRECTIONS!!!! If you fail to read and follow the directions on how I want your resume emailed to me, then don't even think I'll even consider hiring you. Following directions is KEY!!!!

Here's what I need from you:

Email me a coverletter stating why I should hire you over any others. I also want your resume attached to the email. Also, as a back-up, I'll need a copy of the cover letter in the body of the email.

Best wishes!! Hope to work with you soon

Compensation: Paid"

That seems completely reasonable to me...hell on an indie feature you probably wouldn't even get paid for that much. Though yeah...requiring the letter is a bit of an aggrevation

I gotta tell ya. . .I find that approach very off-putting, as a PA myself. It just makes me think I'm gonna be dealing with some asshole(or asshole-ette) for a month or two. Unnecessary. That ad could have conveyed all the pertinent information without the attitude.

Thanks Josh. I totally agree. Forget the money. Who wants to work for someone like that!

I saw a post for this same project a few months ago and it was posted again today. I wonder why? Forget the fact that the rate doesn't even begin to cover the labor but does this $150.00 cover the gear too, who knows? Also, what happens after they have used you about 5-10 times or less and then decide you ain't cuttin' it? Well, I'll tell you. You just worked for $150.00 (1 interview) or maybe $300.00 / day (2 interviews) without that incentive payoff of the $40K for taking the lower pay up front. No matter what, if that rate includes gear too, you are screwed!!

Videographer

Job Description


The Videographer will be responsible for:

Videotaping a minimum of 200 interviews annually (each interview is an average of 3 hours in length not including set up and tear down)

Videotaping an average of 2 interviews daily

Labeling tapes appropriately

Ensuring completion of ALL paperwork for each XxxxxxxXxxxx in the region and submitting required reports

Working closely with an interviewer/oral historian to ensure ALL interviews are conducted in accordance with the XxxxxxxXxxxxx guidelines

Performing other responsibilities as assigned

Reporting to the national headquarters in Chicago, Illinois

The Preferred Qualifications include:


A minimum of 2-4 years experience shooting on Betacam SP and working with Betacam SP ENG equipment

Proficiency with camera maintenance including cleaning heads and troubleshooting

Demonstrated experience with shooting ENG/documentary style video

Proficiency in documentary style lighting using gobos, gel and chimera

Ability to work as part of a team

Own cell phone, computer, fax machine and transportation

Strong people skills and the ability to interact with various personality types

Ability to perform video and audio tasks as one person

Willingness to travel locally and nationally

The ideal candidate will be experienced with quality lighting techniques, be hardworking, have strong ethics, a proven track record, the ability to maintain confidentiality, the ability to work in a demanding/multi-task oriented environment, posses the desire for a challenge and have a passion for The XxxxxxxXxxxxx mission.


Salary

$150.00 per interview will be paid during a 3 month, part-time probationary period with the possibility of full-time employment at an annual contract rate of $40,000.


Interested candidates should submit a VHS sample of work with a cover letter, resume and references to:


Organization
The XxxxxxxXxxxxx
1900 S. Xxxxxxxx Avenue
Chicago, IL 60616


No Phone Calls Please

Email
xxxx@thexxxxxxxxxxx.com



Job location is Atlanta, GA

Compensation: $150.00 per interview will be paid during a 3 month, part-time probationary period with the possibility of full-time employment at an annual contract rate of $40,000

If you worked at least three days a week, two interviews a day, you'd be better off financially staying with the $150/per rate than the annual salary.

Poster strikes back
 

Finally, someone has gotten tired enough of the crap to tell it like it is.

"Feature Film Producer Xxx Xxxxxxxx, with major backing needs People and Fake companies who post things here (another board), that are lies and never pan out but boost your egos and fuel your own delusions. I only need 10, that should be a drop in the bucket. Union players only. No it's not a comedy. Salary: just what I owe you....Nothing."

"(this is customary in Seattle; hopefully the same applies on the east coast)."
No wonder Seattle is the suicide capitol!

She ought to be a televangelist by the way she lures you in and then near the end subtly asks for your love gift of (in addition to the minimal hour) scout time, your camera, and of course, experience!

"I'm a writer-director in Seattle, getting ready to shoot my first documentary on the east coast. The format is miniDV. I need an experienced cinematographer to shoot the culminating event in Atlanta on the morning of August 30. In other words, after a long fight, there is closure in this chapter of history and I need someone to document it. I will then start at the beginning and tell the story leading up to this event. No interviews are required for this shoot. I don't anticipate it to last more than an hour. I will provide final details when I get them.

This project has come up suddenly, so getting to Atlanta on short notice is not possible for me--unless I get funding in the next week or so which is unlikely. Currently, all I can offer is credit and a copy of the final project (this is customary in Seattle; hopefully the same applies on the east coast). I am working on a proposal for funding. I am EXTREMELY passionate about this project and a great, persuasive writer. I am confident I will be able to get funding, especially if I have a highly skilled crew. When that happens, if you've done a great job, I will be able to offer you a paid position. There will be minimal in-state travel required. Please have several years experience, a demo reel and a Panasonic AG-DVX100A or better (miniDV only). I will reimburse for tape stock. Documentary experience a HUGE plus. I'm targeting this film for festivals and PBS, so please no amateurs or hobbyists. It would be helpful if you could scout the location prior to the shooting date to determine lighting and sound requirements.

Feel free to check out my Web site at http://www.xxxxxxxxxxx.com. Send resume and demo reel to Xxxxxxxx Productions, PO Box XXXX, Seattle WA 98111. If you have an online demo reel (strongly preferred), you can e-mail your resume (PDF documents only) with a link to your reel to xxxxxxxxxatxxxxxxxxxxx.com"

What really pisses me off is the people who say "must have DVX100A, or better", so a regular DVX100 isn't good enough? Nor a GL1 or VX2000 or XL1?

James, could you email me a link to the original ad? I'm going to email him my thoughts. :)

Don't get mad but I just wrote a similar ad myself! Fact is, I am a graduate student, so I have no money to give. The least I can do is offer credit and copy! Well... I can do a bit better than that, but not a lot. As for specifying the camera... it is a way of saying: "This production requires a camera with manual control"... or "If your camcorder is not better than these, we might as well use mine".

Hey Emre
The difference is that the posted of that "job" has the audacity to suggest that working for a copy and credit is the norm.

My take on "you must have this camera" is that the poster isn't skilled enough to know that the operator makes more difference than the quality of the camera.

Emre. This is my view but I'm sure most others will agree. There's nothing wrong with anyone asking for production work for lower than normal, low, deferred or even no pay. I think we have all done it at least once for projects we believed in depending on the content and/or the producer/crew or just for the practical experience. Just be up front with all of the specifics and don't be so demanding if you can't offer compensation. That's what makes these job posts so ridiculous and sometimes comical, their demading nature for such little or no guaranteed return. If you don't have a budget, then you can't be so particular about crew or gear and if anyone gets mad about that then they need to find another career. Ithink the biggest insult is when someone tries to justify no pay by offering all of these sidelines like a copy and food. Hell, that's something you ought to do anyway! I think I will send my cell provider a copy of my last project as payment for my cell service, ha ha ha ha ha!

Dylan. Your right! I agree that she actually thinks that because there's alot of people that are willing to do it that it's the norm. She's just really naive and will eventually learn before she goes broke, hopefully.

I don't know what it is...maybe its because I love shooting...but I never understand why these people make all these rediculous demands, and all this top notch equipment from people with like 3 years experience...and don't have the money to pay...yet it never occurs to them to just shoot it themselves. It seems to me if I'm a person, even with no skill in shooting...and I have absolutely no money to pay, I would do it myself.

I mean you don't go to a carpenter and say, I need some cabinets, they have to be real wood, preferably treated, with an ornate design...you must have 3 years experience...I can't pay you...but you can take pictures and use it as examples of your work for future clients.

And that makes me realize yet another thing....someone who has that much experience probably has all they need for a reel anyway....and if they need something else...like a particular camera move or something...they would just set it up and do it themselves.

James, Matt, both really well put as well.
Here is how to get me to work for free. Send an e-mail that says:

Hi
I've got a shoot coming up, and I don't have a DP/videographer/photographer yet. It's a non paying gig, but I could really use your help. I know you don't care about credit or your reel, which is all I have to offer, I just really need it as a favour. I promise I won't waste your time on it. If you can make it, cool, if not, I understand.

Thanks

PS, Was it Glenmorangie or Lagavulin that you drink?

Yep. That's all it takes.

Some people may not really be knuckleheads and actually not realize how ridiculous their post sounds when they first write it but it can easily be interpreted that way. We all want an A list crew on our project but reality governs that probability.

I should change that ad...

haha very true.


but obviously he at least knew you enough to know the proper non-monetary compensation lol...which is one way alot of people will give out free help. In my example...sure you could get a carpenter for free...but he's probably your friend or your brother...not something you post on the internet.

Another good way to get people to work for free is to have an applicable skill that you can offer them in the future. Like if maybe you don't know an F-stop from a stop sign...but your a great animator, sound guy, or something...and you'd say "I'll animate you a production logo for free, and do your opening title sequence on your next flick, if you can come DP my short". In fact, I have a music video shoot coming up, that the director suggested that I'd be compensated for...but I'm considering significanly lowering my fee, or even doing it for free if he would agree to do a storyboard for me (something he's very good at...and I can't draw a stick figure).

Matt, that's a good point. What makes it even more ridiculous is that these people demand so much from strangers. You can get more bees with honey than with vinegar, ha ha ha ha.

Yep, I'll do trade outs but only if it's associated within the industry and if it's really beneficial to my needs. I love the ones who want to give you something that you could never use. What we do does not appeal to the masses so unrelated tradeouts don't help us.

I hope their not saying their from LA to be impressive. It's better than nothing but a bit much to want a shooter to be a field producer, provide a light kit and sound for that rate. Then, to top it off, parking and travel come out of the $250.00.

"We are a Los Angeles based production company seeking a camera operator with own DVX 100A camera, lavaliere microphone system and lights for a short off camera interview in Columbus, GA. We will provide you with a location to go to, and a set of questions to ask off camera. Please email your equipment list, relevant credit list and a digital reel.

The rate will be $250 which will include your parking and travel costs."

Maybe I'm wrong but this seems...
 

Maybe I'm wrong but this one seems pushy and lowball for someone with Avid and broadcast editing experience....(I haven't cut anything off the beginning, this is how the post started...)


<<If you don't know what Avid is, please do not reply.
If you don't have any experience editing on Avid, please do not reply.
If you cannot work during daytime hours do not reply.
If you have experience on avid, experience with broadcast television, experience with documentary film making and a kick ass reel PLEASE REPLY.

Avid Express Pro experience a plus.
Photoshop experience a plus.
Documentary, Reality TV editing a plus.

We are currently editing a TV Show pilot, and may already have the show sold. if you can get in now, we will take you with us as the show continues.
Job location is LAS VEGAS
Compensation: $15 HR | TAX FREE
This is a part-time job.>>

wow...I never thought this day would come...but I got one...and also I want to emphasis that this guy has been spamming forums like crazy with this one (and also I should mention that the mispelling of 'pilot' is present in every single spam, including ones days after his initial post and also long after people responded criticising his mispelling):

"Hey...a friend of mine and I have a deal with a tv station that is in the LA area that is soon to go nationwide and we are looking for 2 more people who can run camera but you need to have a digital 3ccc (3 chip) camera. The show will be nationwide and we first need to do the piolet and the show is a extreme sports show that focus's on BMX, Skateboarding and Motocross and in the summer it will be on Surfing and in the winter we will do snowboarding instead of motocross. We need 2 camera people, a lights person and a sound person, if you are interested please send me a messege and if available along with a resume asap. You will not be paid for the piolot but when the first weekly episode air's then we can talk money eventually!"

I should also note that later someone asked him what is the station and the call letters to which he responded:

"Im not going to say for certain reasons"

LOL...I tried my hardest to be angry...but that is just downright silly.

Matt

He isn't going to say cause there isn't one. :)

... and no way in heck will they give you a contract guaranteeing they'll take you with them as the show continues. And I smell double trouble because they're in Las Vegas. Up-and-up deals in L.V. are fine. Shady deals in LV are extra shady! B)

At least they didn't

A) misspell 'pilot'
B) misspell it two *different* ways, LOL

Another thing about the BMX one...is the sheer lack of sense of the logistics of what he is asking for. You think...sure you probably need two shooters to do BMX, motocross, and snowboarders...that's pretty reasonable. But exactly what is your lighting guy and sound guy going do to? Is he going to snowboard behind him with an HMI glued to his snowboard?

Conversely, if instead he's talking about doing the studio portion...such as a host and interviews with pro extreme sports people....why does he need two cameras? I asked him this, and he explained that he is doing it a "different" way by using several cameras for different angles...to which I responded there is absolutely nothing different about that...that's how TV shows shoot real programs...but they spend money to do it...but you can shoot a pilot of interviews and in studio hosting with a single camera.

I had a lovely one the other day. I applied for a job offering £350 (I guess $500) per finished DVD, for editing an instructional series to be distributed nationally. There would be 4 DVD's in all, so total pay I worked out to be £1400.

Although not the greatest pay for this sort of work, I figured what the hey, why not? Might be fun. Beside it'd certainly pay the bills for a couple of months.

I emailed, with a link to my showreel, and got a reply a day later, saying that I was in the final selection of editors for the job, and that now they wanted some honesty from me, asking me exactly what I could and couldn't do, in terms of editing, music, design, dvd menus etc.

As I read on, I realise that stuffed in near the bottom of the email, lost in the ether of "copy of dvd, credit on box, great for showreel" stuff was "Pay: £40 per DVD, £200 for all 4."

I mean that is just slave labour... especially considering what they wanted done, including everything from editing to design of the dvd cover, replication, menu design, musical scoring etc etc.

Personally, if the advert was worded nicely, with some enthusiastic rumblings about it's potential (or something) then I would have considered doing it for cost. But to drop the pay so significantly, whilst demanding honesty from me, well that just set the alarm bells ringing!

This was the original post

"We are shooting some projects this weekend. Let me know if you want to take part. Send me your resume. You must have access to a professional camera (and bring it to the set), and must get back to me ASAP. I will select crew and give credentials later this afternnon. You will be shooting bigtime celebrities and storm victims. Times are: Sat 6p, Sun 6p, and Monday morning...with a brief crew meeting either sat morning or right before Sat evening shoot. Let me know which days you are available or select all days. I'll get back to you Friday evening with further details.

Must be very professional. Should be a lot of fun, great opportunities to network and enjoy the event after shoot.



Job location is Xxxxxxx

Compensation: varies"

This was the direct response to the post

The part I like the most is the rate and then the fact that you only get that if it airs

Then to top it off, she will get there after she comes from her paying job at Turner Sports

"Hey guys,

1. the event at hand is the Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxx (Xxxxx Xxxx) Charity weekend.
(Technically it started yesturday) but I had other shoots to take care of. We will shoot at the fun...adult activities. Sat is poker night with a red carpet. Sunday is on a boat at Lake Xxxxxx. They both start at 6p...until we got all of our shots...then you can put your equipment up and enjoy the evening, smooze a bit with the stars and make connections for your next big break in this crazy industry we work in. Or...you could go home. If you've been to these events before...you'll know its a perk filled night. With that said...

2. We are doing this for Current TV, a new news network catered to 18-34 year olds. You will be paid only...$50...if this piece airs. (We most likely will air, because my work usually does.) But, up front these are the stipulations.

3. Now, with that...we won't work you too hard 'cause we'll have a shot list.
If you still want to be apart of this great opportunity, please reply back.

I'll need you Sat, Sun @5:30p; the crew is 2 cameras, director, host, stylist.

Also reply soon, so I can add your name to the all access credentials. Also we need to have a crew meeting in the early afternoon 1p sharp. We'll meet and you'll get your details. I have to work at Turner Sports for a while...I don't know when I'll get off. But, you'll be cleared to shoot before I arrive.

--
Thanks so much!"